"test" - 10/3/15
when someone you love is sick
but you're healthy it's almost impossible
to forget you can never love enough or live
with adequate intensity to be worthy
of the gift you didn't remotely earn
lying awake at night you envision
a magic machine a tincture a cure
of any kind as powerful as the source
of pain to which you're only a passive witness
empathy seems no comfort to anyone but G-d
the impetus to change one's life "for the better"
arrives often but humanity is by definition
weaker than idealism so quickly a kind of dementia
of entitlement levels everything in its wake
even in the midst of lamentation

from where does the strength come
to steadfastly remember all daylight long
the luminosity of gratitude
for every miracle abounding
weak as I am disloyal to the fact

that all it takes to create
authentic grace may be the courage to
shove fear's shadow down steps of repentence
risking the willingness to be uncomfortable
with one's own lack of duress yes it's a test