"It is physically impossible for you to become pregnant

Anymore..."

 

Someone in my social oval felt prompted to point

Out

 

As though that logistical fact in any way diffuses the

Attack

 

As if my inability to suffer equally (even terminally) as

Sisters

 

Will across this great, broken nation could in any way

Alleviate

 

My concern, my frustration, my anger. Are we not all

Taught

 

Empathize, put ourselves in one another's shoes as

Barometers

 

Of compassion, humanity, ethics? I have no trouble

Recounting

 

The fact that - in my relative youth and beyond - I went

Panicked

 

In the middle of the night as a rule to emergency

Rooms

 

Loving partners in tow (no one night stands here) in

Need

 

Of morning after (morning of) pills as no method is

Perfect

 

What broke back then will break again the word over

Regardless

 

Of my personal circumstance and so the "why do you

Care?"

 

Subtext perceived from words meant to assure me

Unwittingly

 

Becomes a flare for selfishness I try not to judge but

Time

 

Is a continuum and if you believe as I always have any

One

 

Of us could be the other any sister, any cousin, brother

 

What does it matter my procreating abilities are over?

Why

 

Does something have to affect someone personally

Anyway

 

For it to "hit home" these days have we really become

So

 

Inhumane? Standing on the corner of my proverbial

Lawn

 

I hold up a sign that clearly and unequivocally shouts

"This

 

Is wrong!" And whether or not you choose to join my

Voice

 

If you love me at all you will acknowledge my

Presence

 

What does it mean to respect someone you love if not

Listening

 

What does it mean to protect someone you call

Blood

 

If not providing safe passage home when I look back

Youth

 

Was fraught with adults masking danger to the

Point

 

Where, left to my own growing up, I raised myself

More

 

Than once from the ashes and was lifted by literal

Angels

 

To those in my life who asked the right questions but

Never

 

Forced my answers - you know who you are - I say

This

 

Special prayer of gratitude, reminding myself, gently,

Strength

 

Is acquired through solidarity bravery is inspired by

Consistency

 

So yes; my days of worrying about birth control are

Past

 

But my nights, sleepless with worry of what

Wrenching

 

Away of fellow sisters' and LGBTQ+ and goddess

Knows

 

Who else's ability to steer our bodily destinies safely is

Just

 

Beginning harnessing brainstorming communicating

Outtatheway

 

Tear gas is supposedly a last resort to disperse unruly

Crowds

 

Deemed unsafe to the general public or police

Force

 

Is not supposed to be used unless absolutely

Necessary

 

G-d bless Theocracy land that I love / stand beside

Her

 

And guide her through the night with the light from

Above

Today is a dark day for women in this country -

And all people - who believe in a woman's right

To her own bodily autonomy. It is also the first time

That a protected federal right is being taken away.

 

While it is by no means unexpected, it's all very

Handmaid's Tale, a devastating blow, and hard

Not to be woefully discouraged by this stunning turn

Of events. We must continue to stand up and have our

 

Voices heard, to protest, to vote - this issue will

Galvanize people across political divides. Young

Women will now be coming into fewer rights than their

Grandmothers, while women will once again suffer the

 

Consequences of illegal, unsafe and even deadly Procedures. It also is impossible not to be concerned

That this (13 state outright ban) may be "just the

Beginning"; contraception / gay marriage may be next.

 

Amidst this disturbing upheaval of 50 years of

Progress, I have never been prouder to be a New Yorker, and to know that - at least for now - my state is

A safe haven where women's bodily self-determination

Remains intact.

I've been compared to Kate

Since my late teens

Back then, I only knew her as

(Apparently) a UK version of the me

I had yet to understand I would choose

To become

 

I was still coming out of my

Synth-nerd/ballerina shell still reeling

From school bullies and older men

Promising me career opportunities

While pressuring me to sit on

Their laps

 

My first awareness of Kate

Was via a high school friend I later found

Out was gay. We were at his house

He showed me a poster on his wall

She was wildly theatrical he said "She's

My goddess!"

 

Later my sophomore roommate played

"The Sensual World" and that was really

My first foray. Between her and Tori Amos

The comparison wars began. Then there was

Ani whose music I discovered through an ex-

Boyfriend

 

These three artists' names have been a kind

Of aspiration tryptic barometers of how my own spirit

Must in some way be linked to particular

Feminine energies wide-ranging but similarly

Focused on seeing their musical missions through

To the hilt

 

By my 20's I began to understand that it wasn't

Sonics or structure but a kind of outsider-ness

A desire to embrace dynamics from the lowest

Lows to the furthest throes passion's impression

Reborn in the forms of strong, irrepressible women

That bound

 

People's perceptions of my "idiosyncratic" sound

To Kate (to Tori, to Ani). If I had to write a thesis

Today I might choose to study why some times

In history are ripe for Kate-surgences such as now

What is it about this moment and how can we

Celebrate most

 

Fittingly? There was that day when I lived a block from

Tower Records when I waited for 10 hours for a copy

Of The Red Shoes. I was a true fan by then, mainly

Because of Erin, the roommate who unabashedly

Pressed me to listen not to satisfy lazy comparisons

But with reverence

 

These months stage-flying with Imelda May have been

A kind of portal and with each generous compliment

She's given once again the reflection from someone I

Admire "you've got that Kate Bush thing" observations

Only matched in gratitude by the recognition that we

Women of eclecticism

 

Genre-averse avid with ambition advice-resistent

Must now and forever respect the undeniable pleasure

That comes once in a red mood from understanding

All at once how precious is the unbridled vision

In all its glory the Whole Story the willingness

To concede

 

That we can't always predict when times will be right

When the moon will be full in spite of the mainstream's Mastery at assessing every eventuality occasionally

Without warning the zeitgeist throws surprise parties

The most disarming thing re: Kate Bush's comeback =

Quirkiness trending

My father worked in Spain for decades

This is the place he came back from

Like Jewish Santa Claus always prayed for

 

Always anticipated we'd sit on the steps

And hear his car gravel arrival he'd bring gifts

A doll, a sweater, a special candy made of almonds

 

I wrote my first pop song about him leaving for Spain

It was called "Please Don't Go" and was from

My mother's imagined perspective but work

 

Demanded the international commute and we

Got used to it and learned over time that sometimes

The biggest hugs, the widest smiles, the best rewards

 

Come to those who wait patiently and that parents

Are just people muddling their way through time

Zones imagined and literal trying not to drift off

 

During the ballet recital fresh from the flight home

From Alicante where my Dad ate Octopus and G-d

Knows what else traif galore faith has finally

 

Brought me to the place where you built your dream

And now, full-grown, I remember the time I was here

As a toddler the Fanta the sunshine the sea shells

 

Amor