August 2021
a good day
"a good day" – 8/10/21
There is a knowing glance between woman of a certain ilk and circumstance
It is almost never pitying but it is always empathetic
Accompanied usually by a smile as genuine as a child's reverence for ice-cream
It screams 'I see you! I'm with you! You're a human being!'
There is water available as we wait. It says it's filtered
But the risk of taking off one's mask to self-quench rivals
Knowledge they may not easily find that vein if you're dehydrated so
I wait the minutes are both loaded and light I see a magazine
J. Lo and her 'revenge' on her partner who mislead her I actually contemplate
Opening the cover but my name is called upbeat and no-nonsense
The same woman who leads me to my locker is the one who'll
Be taking the images its hard not to be fascinated
Morbid as the subject may become I recall how in past years
I strove to compose something musically interesting from clanking
From being told intermittently to hold my breath and then to let go
Let go is cultural touchstone of holistic healing and the odd commercial
Touting seductive vacations or adventures on which I'll never go
But right now the automated robot voice I hear in the tunnel feels
Equal parts prophetic and insightful so, reluctantly, I do
And what I find, as the contrast dye makes its eventual way
From my wrist to the rest of my decidedly dubious consciousness
After all this time - more than a year - I'm surprisingly out of practice
At lying still. With a cushion under my legs and earplugs stifling
Dread I want so badly to fidget but I know it's not allowed
60 full minutes and countless self-aggressions later I find it shockingly
Hard to get up. My back spasms and the space in the arch
Of my spine seems to want to stay permanently bound to the sound
Of photographs, photographs made of sound. I long to see the sun
But of course, as always, it's pouring rain so I get dressed, emerging
Victorious into a windy summer evening as my umbrella amusingly
Turns itself inside out signalling the end of backwards day
Where technology has the upper hand over everything
Still I find solace
In how we say, exiting elevators simultaneously, "have a good day!"