July 2021
"Landing" – 7/25/21
To those of you who are good
At juggling a bunch of things
You dislike doing and love doing
To those of you who are great
At remembering where you put your keys
And to take out your garbage before it stinks
Those of you who don't wait until
You have a late fees accrued to pay that bill
(You know the one I'm talking about)
The ones among you who find time
Somehow to stand up for your cells
The ones that silent-scream for spinach
And hydration and yoga and meditation
Even when a thousand other expectations
Are upon you whether self-created or lamentable
Who always make time for others and volunteer
For causes you believe in because it's the right thing
But still manage to get six hours of sleep
And go to the dentist and the doctor
And have your fridge stocked with veggies
And your laundry down to one pile
Who always have time to answer the call
Of a friend in need lend a listening ear
Who reach out to your family regularly
To those of you who keep an orderly home
Who arent afraid to pick up your phone
Who don't wallow in your past who transcended PTSD
Whatever it may be from who self-healed
Without losing trust in everyone who keep
Your hearts open without being doormats
I salute you for your heroism and applaud
You for your patriotism competing in the
Life-balance Olympics yields no trophies
But I see you all and am perpetually in awe
Of your death-defying mid-air dangling your
Knees straight your arms outstretched
Skillfully, soulfully, sticking your landing
"Insurance" – 7/25/21
Every 6 months I have an MRI to make
Sure my cancer is still in remission.
And like clockwork, a month before I am
To receive this test, scheduled by my oncologist,
My insurance company sends me an intimidating
Warning that the request for this test is pending
And that I need to provide sufficient information
To them (annually) to prove that this test is required.
I am told by all my doctors I will need this test for
Many years to come to "stay on top of anything"
Should, G-d forbid, my cancer return. Nonetheless,
This rigamarole ensues and like a lawyer I must
Plead my case that it's necessary. And so, the
Uploading of "relevant medical records" begins,
With a request to my doctor to write me a note
Restating why it's necessary. "She needs this test
To assess that her cancer has not returned..." etc.
And if/when they say no (like they did last year,
3 times before my final appeal went through,
I will try not to let the stress affect me 'cause...
"Landmarks" – 7/19/21
Is anyone else experiencing post-lockdown life
Like a wormhole? I find myself grasping sometimes
For the next in a sequence of events meant to happen last March
For strength to remain in my skin when I desperately want to run
And let running run it's audacious gasping course
As if our bodies, once bending to ongoing intractable wills
Weren't suddenly decades older than our oldest wait-untils
Oh for an iota of that joie de vivre where fear wasn't lurking still
Around every corner dust to the hoarder loot to the marauder
Some things are bound to have remained but right now
It's too much my ability to remember vs. reenter eludes
My brain just wants to start over, reset, be as certain
As regret's regressive I walk past shuttered landmarks I wish I'd
Appreciated debilitated intoxicated where is the middle ground
That used to be between the park and the street the skyline and
The gutter yes I confess I know I can trust better than this
"Meditation" – 7/18/21
One of the things that has changed about me most
Since I was diagnosed with the thing that halts
Your lingering childlike imagining that you will live forever
Is the way that I look at time. Time, time, time oh
What an elixir it is when it lays out before you, undivided
By preexisting commitments allowing your subconscious
To restore your conscious mind to some semblance of sanity
I look back on my teens when I got 4 hours sleep on average
And when it was so highly encouraged to accomplish accomplish
I look back on my 20's so full of youthful hubris the feeling
Of been unstoppable because, in effect, I somewhat was
No one could stop me from going after the thing I wanted
Which of course was to manifest the lifelong sentiment
I'd had since a small child that we're here to uplift one another
To hold each other's proverbial hearts through inspiration's
Highest, reverential esteem, via expressive honesty
Was rarely the best policy offstage where self-protection
Better served onstage truth was crystalized, carved, earned
The clock on my wall ticks like cricket chirps mortality's
Automatic but oh love's born each day anew with birdsongs
By merely holding your hand I can hear the echoes of
Heritage's heartbeat your mind has the power to slow down
The rate of most things through meditation's lense
Tonight I'm just grateful for the suspension of a moment
Tomorrow will be busy with the business of preparing
For more mountains to climb and roots to untangle but right now
We're as present as we'll ever be, breath equaling serenity