October 2016
bird feeder
"bird feeder" - 10/04/16
I grew up thinking of needles 
As more than the enemy
I had many occasions to think of them
Because someone in my family required them
All too often for sustenance I wasn't afraid
Of the occasional pin prick blood draw
Vaccination seesawing between homeopathic
And germaphobic the upshot is I avoided shots
Altogether but when required I just shut my eyes
Knowing guiltily whatever I was feeling was painless
Comparatively and that's what I feel right now 
Looking at you weathered beyond your years
Impervious to advice diaphanously tears belie
The sensitivity you strive so hard to mask
I ask you for nothing I offer only friendship
And although we have connected more deeply
Than you will ever admit and I would never resubmit 
To a heart so changeable the love I offer now
Is unconditional it requires no answer an open door schul
The only membership I encourage you to entertain would be 
The possibility your irritation's indicative of self-loathing 
The only courtship I'd ever indulge in when it comes
To you my erstwhile sun is the one that flaunts
By example a passion for ancient symbols you said
You wanted to go to India well I am going and if at any point
You decide to become someone of your word I will always
Have ears to listen currents to lift you hummingbird

"Resolution" - 10/03/16

I want a lover whose cheerleading shouts me out loudly as perfectly flawed
I want a lover whose quiet self-confidence cherishes compliments nonetheless
I want a lover who fathoms as firmly as I do the beauty of the one night stand
Eager to sing, write or paint about such ephemeral encounters indefinitely
But only because of a fondness for undressing dialectics like death vs. infinity
I want a lover who revels shamelessly in nothing more than the evidence
Of everything perceived while making a point to improve others' existence
Arousing revolution no matter what angular agnosticism inevitably becomes
Sacred kindling for compassion's ambition gutted by resolve pressing
Empathy's imprint upon us every kiss a pomegranate seed conceding bliss
"Veneer" 10/1/16

Would it surprise you to know in hindsight I was a newbie

To the one-night-stand unlike you I was actually trying hard
To have no expectations it was challenging but I've never been
One to shy away from a social experiment I thought if I tried
To be more like you I might understand you better granted it was 
A subconscious plan an unwitting submission to a feckless fate
I might feel weightless gratified modern redeemed preemptively
Saved from what I'm still not sure oh who are we kidding I imagined
I'd seduced you from multiple stages letting you kiss me
Letting you whisk me away to uncomfortable surroundings
Reverse immersion into my hyper color movie Moroccan pillows 
Glittering sequins shoe-shined silver-lined cinematic skylines
My eyes are burning now not from crying but from this Mohave wind
Out of sight out of mind you said you'd be a friend were you acting then
Or was I just not listening when you un-whispered secrets I must've
Had my ear turned away at that flippant moment when you first revealed 
A shift in character it doesn't take much to pretend to care even a little
The definition of narcissism is less malleable than my need for resolve 
It seems to me a testament to absurdity there was ever a girl you loved 
The way you slammed this unlucky door shut slipped away in the middle 
Of the night minutes after getting what you thought you might want
Enough to take it away you ran what kind of man doesn't even explain
If it was just too irritating to feel something or not enough of what 
You needed all you had to do was say so whether you're an impressive
Flake or a depressive passive-aggressor either way I'm the poorer
For having given the benefit of reverence to a vacuum whose veneer
Of affection whitewashed my typically good judgement the way you looked
Right through me fooled me truth slept soundly while you sure screwed me