October 2015

"Sister" - 10/20/15

For as long as I can remember
I have looked up to you
Never mind that you are shorter
Or that I am naturally most comfortable
Sitting cross-legged on the floor

What has always impressed me most
Aside from teaching yourself to read at 3
And having a profound gift for not only creating
But maintaining lasting friendships
With the kind of loyalty I may only ever
Admire from a close-distance

Is your laugh. To be able to endure so many
Ups and downs on a daily basis and retain
The sort of easy laughter that's always eluded me
No matter how hard I tried to be someone with your
Unadulterated appreciation for the silly,
The superfluous, ridiculous and joyful

Has been tantamount from my view to
Watching my own flesh and blood
Wield Atlas-worthy burdens with the grace
Of Gelsey Kirkland and the unapologetic
Power of Caribbean-strength sun

When I am around you, there is a kind of
Halo of protection you make with your careful words
Making sure, in your way, that even my own self-doubt
Is not allowed to penetrate the oasis of our circle
When I leave your presence, I leave knowing the meaning
Of what it is to be a complete human being

In every sense of the word "sister"

"test" - 10/3/15
when someone you love is sick
but you're healthy it's almost impossible
to forget you can never love enough or live
with adequate intensity to be worthy
of the gift you didn't remotely earn
lying awake at night you envision
a magic machine a tincture a cure
of any kind as powerful as the source
of pain to which you're only a passive witness
empathy seems no comfort to anyone but G-d
the impetus to change one's life "for the better"
arrives often but humanity is by definition
weaker than idealism so quickly a kind of dementia
of entitlement levels everything in its wake
even in the midst of lamentation

from where does the strength come
to steadfastly remember all daylight long
the luminosity of gratitude
for every miracle abounding
weak as I am disloyal to the fact

that all it takes to create
authentic grace may be the courage to
shove fear's shadow down steps of repentence
risking the willingness to be uncomfortable
with one's own lack of duress yes it's a test