March 2007

"Mercy" - 3/25/2007

even if I were not your lover
I would love you
because you work well
with others (something I struggle with,
to say the least)

I'd love you because
you have not been afraid
to follow your bliss
curséd though it
may still seem to you at times

because you
ache in a way more subtle
than I'm apt to melt down
suddenly overcome with
new landslides

I'd love you because
you're not afraid
of change,
not easily

because you could
kill me in the most gentle
way possible, just by looking
straight at me, and sight
shows some mercy

I'd love you because you were
just what I needed
reeling me back to earth
I'd never had brunch before

with a paramour of course dinner
breakfast in bed lunches and
so forth but you felt like someone
I'd take home for the Holidays
before you even took me for
a fool and for that I will always

thank you


"Anyway" - 3/23/2007

so look -
I am in deep with you
(and I don't even know who you are)

it doesn't seem fair
this double-edged sword
my Scorpio blessing's

my weakness' core

I sit on the carpet
musing at collections
of things I have memorized

until they're invisible
what's second nature
what's useless used-to

what's chaos/order
I've come
to leave

as regularly as the seasons
swell around us
monsoons of waiting

I'm waiting for someone
to tell me they take me
just as I am but still...

they'd long to see me change

why is that too much to ask for?
why does submitting to all of this
wishing make me the culprit

I can barely look in the mirror
as dependent as I am
on your recognition

should I just break it?
bare-fisted, I could surely
what use are these hands

anyway, so deeply misunderstood


"Ensemble" - 3/19/07

be careful what you wish for
isn't that how the saying goes

there is a gap Adonai knows
between how we lie together

and what you will not say
and I wonder restlessly:

if I didn't pry, would you share your good news
if I didn't offer, would you educe these hues

my last true love was so long ago
I admit I've forgotten what depth dances like

still I try to allow my six senses to drown
desolate as most oceans appear to me now

tell me, my friend...
are you home tonight? dare I rap

on the the door of your personal fortress
or is it best I remain inside my own igloo

where at least it's safe and there's no bloodstain

to rival my ensemble (wistfully gone to waste)


"Kite" - 3/10/07

Yesterday revealed
my friend reattempting
to end this life

suffering so long
refusing to let me help
in any way nonetheless

Today was a truck
running over my insides
if that is possible
(surface intact)

what will tomorrow be like?
I pray for an understanding
beyond my fears

I lie down with demons
to see what death must
feel like it or not this is

and it


Today I overslept
through two alarms
an apt analogy

for this mournful epoch
slow was I to respond
consumed with new

Love and future's work
now present is tangled
equally with lies

a kite I can't
follow even as it


Imperfect Hand

"Imperfect Hand" - 3/3/07

if I can't tell you
I think I will
explode with waiting

waiting's such a productive thing
it makes you write
straightens your spine
helps you defray
the cost of submitting

full as you become
with the counting of each
white cloud passing
and each rising/setting
of the orange sun

I crave you more
the more you make me
wait it's a good game - bliss!
this chance to be absolutely
certain that if those words

ever reach the surface
they'll be mutually spoken
affectionately received
by both of us at once
from one another or like
gold greedily pilfered
in case we should
weaken someday
and stoop to
steal them