"Proud" 12/18/04

when I am with you I am
proud...

proud to be with you
proud to be heard
proud to be seen, I admit
(breathtaking as you are)

if your shadow were not hovering
loudly

I'd sing, vibrations permitting my heartbeat to say
what little I'm willing to articulate; that despite
being slightly less than twice your age
I've been meditating in wisterian ways

upon gardens of charming I'd
vowed...

vowed to be disciplined
vowed to behave
vowed to learn from so many slow mistakes,
cruelly as I've learned

what yet readily I'm soul-tempted
to dismiss (yes!)

I'd swing, from vine to vine in my red reckless way
with spiritless common sense lurking hot below
a boiling river of what I should know

at bay 'midst affection's naive afterglow